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Do you wish your body looked how it used to?

“If we make self-love or body acceptance conditional, the truth is, we will never be happy with ourselves. The reality is that our bodies are constantly changing, and they will never remain exactly the same. If we base our self-worth on something as ever-changing as our bodies, we will forever be on the emotional roller coaster of body obsession and shame.” Chrissy King

One of the reasons that many people don't feel good in their body is that they are not prepared to accept that their body has changed. They are still trying to get their body to look how it did when they were 20, before they had children, or at a time where they were training for an ultra-marathon. Living in the past and wanting your body to look as it did in the past, is a sure way of limiting your body confidence.

You wouldn't expect your 6 year old dog to look how he looked when he was a puppy. You wouldn't force your grandma to dye her hair because you are annoyed that it is white/grey instead of brown. You wouldn't expect your belly whilst you are pregnant to look the same as it looked whilst you were in college/uni doing 100s of core exercises every day... we know that things change with time and with circumstances. Why then are we so reluctant to allow our bodies to change as they get older and carry us through life's challenges and experiences?

Things that can mean that it is inevitable you won't look the same now as you did in the past include:

- life changes such as going through a pregnancy or the menopause

- fighting off/recovering from illness

- going through trauma or a stressful period

- living somewhere new or doing different things with your day

- having different life circumstances and different priorities

- having more responsibilities/ things to devote your time and energy to

- your body being in a different hormonal state

- your body composition or metabolism shifting over time

- the natural passage of time

- your body working differently as it ages (eg. levels of certain chemicals and hormones naturally decline as we age)....etc...

Of course, you may want to be at your healthiest and look your best at whatever age you are at - and that is fair enough. BUT - constantly beating yourself up for not looking how you used to look or constantly striving to fit into "THAT pair of jeans" or to hit that weight you were at 10 years ago, can be very unhelpful. Your body may not be at its healthiest and best at that old "goal weight" anymore, your body composition could have shifted with time, and your hormonal or metabolic balance could be different now. Your life circumstances may also have changed. Maybe at uni you had lots of time to cook good meals and exercise but now as you move into working life, you no longer have as much time to dedicate to these things. Maybe in your late 20s you didn't have many responsibilities but in your 30s/40s/50s you are trying to balance taking care of kids with working and having some kind of social life... Life changes, priorities changes, circumstances change and it is natural that your body would change too.

Do you think that wishing your body looked how it used to look is holding you back from truly feeling confident in your body?


I am excited to announce that I will soon be launching a new 8 week online body confidence programme. Keep an eye out for an email over the coming weeks as subscribers will get an introductory discount to sign up to this programme.

This is an online transformation programme to help you to rebuild your relationship with your body, to feel more confident; shift your beliefs about yourself; nurture self-compassion; stop unhelpfully comparing yourself to others and start believing in yourself and your potential. Through this programme you will be reconnecting with your body and learning to feel good about yourself and your body so that you have that drive to want to nurture and nourish your body.

“and i said to my body. softly. ‘i want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath. and replied ‘i have been waiting my whole life for this'.” ― Nayyirah Waheed


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