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Does your worth come from the outside or the inside?

How often do you wonder what other people might think of - your work, your body, your outfit, what you are saying, your dancing etc...? How often do you then base what YOU think of your work/body/outfit/ideas/dancing on what other people think of them? Do you base your worth and confidence on the opinions of other people or does your worth come from a deep inner-knowing that you are worthy irrespective of what other people say or think?

You may have noticed that a friend or family member makes a negative comment on an idea that you have and then you stop believing in the idea altogether. You may also have noticed that how good you feel on an evening out depends upon how many compliments you get. Or perhaps you notice that you only feel good when your partner is telling you how attractive they think you are daily. Maybe at work, once piece of negative feedback or even constructive criticism sends you into a spiral of self-doubt and makes you worry about your suitability for the job. Yet when your worth is based on external validation as it is in these examples, your confidence can become very fragile. It can become dependant upon who you have around you and their unpredictable moods. It can also suffer in new environments where perhaps you are around people that you aren't so familiar or comfortable with.

Letting other people and their opinions dictate your self-worth and confidence levels can also leave you people pleasing and constantly seeking the validation of others. If their opinions are more important to you than your own, you may also find that you are never happy or satisfied with anything you do - as there will often always be someone who has something negative to say about something you do.

Believing in yourself takes courage. Knowing that your work product is valuable , your ideas are important and that you are worthy independent of the opinions of others - takes changing deep held beliefs about yourself and changing how you talk to yourself daily. Over the coming days I will be launching a free self-esteem boosting mini-course. Make sure that you are subscribed to my mailing list at to receive this when it launches soon.

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.” Shannon L. Alder


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