Have you ever found that your well-intentioned (or perhaps maybe not so well-intentioned) partner, sometimes gently makes comments that you have been “eating unhealthily lately” or “have been eating much more sweet-stuff than usual” or “are looking slightly different”... your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend may have the best intentions in the world - but for you, this commentary on your weight or food-choices can actually just make things worse for you.
A lot of my clients will tell me that they feel upset and frustrated when those around them make comments about what they are eating or about how their body has changed. Maybe the partner/friend making the comment is only doing so to support them - or to encourage them to go back to their usual ways - or even just to check whether anything is wrong. Yet, even if their intentions are good - this commentary around weight and food choices can lead an individual to feel bad about themselves and their choices.
As humans we often want what we CAN’T HAVE. When someone tells you that you “shouldn’t” be eating so much “unhealthy stuff” or “sweet stuff” it actually just tends to make you crave it EVEN MORE. You already know that you “shouldn’t” be eating so much of it - but when someone tells you that you need to STOP - you want to get in that “one last dose” before “you never eat it again”. So the partner’s well-intentioned commentary actually back-fires and has the opposite effect to what they intended.
Similarly, when someone makes a comment on your body shape, size or weight - this can make you feel bad about yourself. When you think negative thoughts about yourself and your body, this makes you feel negative emotions but then often, you will find that you want to turn to FOOD (or alcohol) to cope with these negative emotions - again, making things MUCH WORSE!
So if you are trying to make changes to your diet and lifestyle but are finding that your partner or friends are constantly commenting on your food choices or body shape - you can show them this post and gently indicate that this has the potential to sabotage things for you. It is key, whilst making changes to your lifestyle, that you are feeling confident and good about yourself - so that you aren’t tempted to just give up and resort to food for comfort.
“Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you.” ― Cynthia Kersey